Looking back at my last blog post here. at the time of the previous writing I felt I could overcome all the obstacles I would be faced with. Reality set in to a degree, pessimism and cynicism crept in while I lacked the willingness to review myself and my actions. As of this writing I recognize that there is numerous perspectives of the way things should be. If you looked into the external world you can easily find this.
one of the biggest challenges I have had to face up to is I myself have failed to look into my motives for feeling upset, angry, victimized and mistreated. I think it’s far too comforting to think the worst after all soooo many people can see the worst case scenario, but very very few can see the hope for a future. We as society may rely too heavily upon what we want to be told and we expect someone to direct us and gift us all the pleasures we seek without first examining in ourselves how we got to this point.
for me the point of this is. I have been depressed and ashamed of habits I have developed since the onset of the pandemic. I have held in secrete my faults and hoped to see change happen in the outside world without first accepting that I only have the ability to change my perspective of the world. recognizing this brings about a fundamental truth backing this concept. Namely “ If you don’t like it change it! You’re not a tree. You don’t have to live the same way you did the last 2 years. ” - Jim Rohn
There is plenty of evidence that would suggest I myself may not influence or cause change I want to see in others. However I have the complete ability to change my relative view point and thus create a new work of art. A work of art that is my life and the way I want to see it. I have found it profound that I have carried a jerry can with my ready to incite fear and frustration into my life the moment something didn’t go as I had hoped for. In fact I recognize the external world has told me that. So I must ask myself knowing what I know now. If life keeps asking you the same questions are you learning the lessons?